shopping

they’d always had this dream

and

they were living the dream

our Mary and our Ben…

…they weren’t allowed a red car, Mum had said so but that was a long, long time ago…

…they’d always fancied one though and since Mum was no longer there it was really not a broken promise now, was it…they weren’t that young any more and had always fancied a bit of flash, show the world today what they were meant to be right from the start, whizzing down the road in something red and gleaming  and gorgeous. Ben loved his new motor, the wood on the dash, the leather seats…a new lease of life it gave him, our Mary said and as they revved their way to the shops with the roof down they forgot the hard times of the past and lived the dream they had when they were young…

…lovely she was, he remembered, sexy, past it now though, expanded here and there and her memory’s not  so good now, not like mine but there you are, that’s age for you…he didn’t always know whether he had these thoughts about the motor or his Mary but it did not really matter as what was real  released him from his fancies…we’re alright, we are, got everything we want, don’t need anything, just our shopping and we can still do that…

‘we’re alright for today our Ben’, said Mary, ‘we’re alright for Friday as we got the fish but we could do with a joint for Sunday or a chop…little tootle to the shops, is that alright?’

‘you know it is our Mary’, John replied,’ I like to take the motor for an airing,  good for her, the weather’s fine’ …and he reached for the keys and the yellow duster for a little loving polish…

…he’s really not quite right anymore, Mary thought, not as he was, a go getter, sexy even, past it now, got a fat tum and his mind is not so good these days, not like mine she marvelled,  but there you are, age takes you unawares when you’re not looking…

…they might have the chop tonight if they could chew it with mash and chopped greens and a choc ice each for pudding…the ones on a lolly stick,  she’d save the sticks for the seedling trays in the spring…yum… and they lasted such a long time…Lidls had some good stuff and she always liked a bargain…but the better people went to Sainsbury’s is what she thought and that is why she had only bags from there to put her Lidl things in…it looked so much better…not the garish blue and yellow and red…no class at all…

…got the list?...yes…bag?...yes…switched off the gas?...yes…specs?...yes…nice and clean our motor, in’t she…yes… they don’t make them like that any more…no…all chrome and fancy tires…now our Mary, have you got our sticks?...

…she’s getting so forgetful nowadays, Ben thought, doesn’t remember much, not like me at all and I have to remind her of nearly everything…it’s her age…must expect it at her age…the grey hair and wrinkles tell it all, she still has all her teeth though but they wobble quite a bit…not like mine, they’re as strong as ever they were only thinner and longer…but still nice and white and I am more sprightly too, fitter, still got it you know…I could still pull’em if I wanted…yes, he thought, but our Mary’s so good in the kitchen… I make a good cuppa though, not that it makes up for all that she does…don’t I love…what’s that?...make a good morning cuppa our Mary…oh you do that love,..the best…

…got your purse?...yes…money in it?...yes…good then, off we go…brollie?...

…got your purse?...yes…money in it?...yes…good then, off we go…brollie?...Mary mouthed under her breath...

…as if I can’t remember things, he thinks he knows it all, he does…forgets things all the time…not in the least like me, I have to remember everything for both of us…and he’s not as fit as me, he’s not…not sprightly at all…I can still do the twist and he can’t manage it…his belly is too fat, gets in the way…if I were on my own I’d have an easy time of it…all the thing that I could do…but there you are I would not know how to go about it really except a bit of the stuff for the rats he’s got in the shed each day…but he can still drive  and we do go out…and he brings me tea in the mornings…

…he turned the key and the motor growls…nice engine, he thought, they don’t make ’em like that any more, do they our Mary?...what’s that dear, she asked…make ‘em like that any more…no, our Ben she said, they don’t…

…I could do without her, he thought, think of all the things I could do and the places to drive to in my shiny motor, red, red, lovely, lovely red…if only Mum could see it…oh, I miss my Mum he thought, but Mary looked after him so well  and she cooked him lovely dinners…

…see that?...what…the sign…South Road…your friend Jim from the golf moved there…did he?...he did…nice house…see that?...what…the library…still there…yes…got the Senior Times there, free you know,…you did? …I did… I like a bargain and that is our Ben… is what our Mary?...a bargain our Ben!...

…they both nod and smile, drive slowly on. They both loved a bargain…can’t push the engine, he thought, …can’t push the engine, he said…no, she replied…nice and slow…let them overtake us…we’re not in a hurry…are we our Mary?…are we what?…in a hurry… oh no, our Ben, we’re not…

…prawns might be nice…nice and soft…is that what we’ll get?...maybe, I don’t know yet…what d’you think…think about what… prawns, our Ben…oh, nice, yes, very nice…

…always thinking about what to eat…not like me I never think about food but then I don’t have to…she feeds me, you see and I drive her…we share things like, she does this and I do that and it all comes together in the end…

…they walk together, slightly bent as if walking against the wind, carrying a lot of years on their shoulders, memories and tears and joys, they carry the bag between them back to the car…prawns and tatties for mashing, sausages as well as chops and choc ice lollies for pudding…they could put the chops through the mincer…didn’t have to chew  then…taste’s the same, said Mary…Mum used to use a mincer Benny, all the time, said our Mary…she did?...she did… so you don’t have to struggle with your teeth…no, that’s right, not good to struggle with your teeth…

He turns the key and off they go…

…see that? … what our Mary?…library.. yes…got a free Senior Times there…yes…and that?...what…South Road…yes…where Jim moved to…did he?...yes…you used to have a pint with him on Sundays…did I?...yes, said Mary…I used to know this chap called Jim at golf, said Ben, I had a pint with on  Sundays Mary…you did, our Ben…I did…

..we’re alright now our Ben, she said,  got everything we need…we’re alright for Friday as we got the fish and for Sunday we got prawns or chops with mash and chopped greens…we got our sticks, …we got our purse…no money in it…did we forget to buy a paper?... no?...a cottage pie would be nice…

…the engine talks to me, he thought,  and in his mind he could see how it all worked and he worked with her, kept her going , put petrol in before she needed, not good to let it get too low…sediment you know…and oil was of great import, keep it all going, just as with people…Mary takes Fybogel for that, keeps her steady every day…you had to treat her right is what he believed and she would do the same for you…he loved to drive and shift the gears, still had the power in his wrists and his feet could still move well enough for the pedals, his eyes missed a bit here and there but he still got round all the bends alright. A new pair of driving gloves would be nice with the knitted bits on them…for Christmas, he thought, he would tell Mary and then they could look forward to the drives in spring…he never took her out in winter when it rained, rust would be a problem and corrosion, no, when it rained they went shopping on the bus, they had their passes, so that was alright. He thought about his Mary in their young days full of strength and fun and vigour  when they went on picnics and made love in the woods, swam naked in the river, dreamed their dreams and watched the moon rise…he’d write her a poem or tell her a story…and...yes, he was very good then… that’s not to say he wasn’t very good now…as good as ever he’d been he’d say, he was well aware…good for his age and then some…cool even…he’d kept up with the lingo, the way the young talked… groovy and gimme five and hey man and all that stuff, he even bought some jeans and snazzy shoes to match the motor…he thought a driving scarf would be nice, a Rupert Bear scarf he fancied, yellow with the black stripy squares would set it all off very nice…Mary would like that, she loved Rupert Bear…she still had hers  and hugged him every night…and in the day he sat in between their pillows…I wonder what happened to my kiddie car…that was red…I loved that car…I wonder where it is…ah well, he thought, that was then, a long, long time ago…but now he could do anything…anything  at all he wanted… drive anywhere…anywhere at all…in his beautiful red motor car…

…they had always had this dream

and

…now

they were living the dream

our Ben and our Mary…

….our Mary, he asked puzzled all of a sudden as if coming out of a dream…do you know where  we’re going?...