one secret

one secret

it wasn’t just a chilly day

it was cold

the kind of cold that froze your breath

and

gripped your ankles as you walked

…the snow plough ground past and the house trembled and as I pushed the buggy over the gritty ice I marvelled at the sparkling banks of pure white snow either side in the sunlight that morning, gaps to the front doors where people had dug their way out to get on with their day. We were on our way to the store but  pushing was hard as the wheels gripped but we would get there in the end, my baby and I…

‘Miss’, I heard a small voice call, ‘Miss, could you spare a quarter? I’m hungry, need  lunch, for some chips or a dime?’

A quarter? A dime? Hungry?  Chips? No lunch? I had no money at all to spare, bought everything we needed on tab at the General Store, paid it off, was agreed, once a month when the pay cheque came in…and how he was dressed , the poor boy,…his skin almost purple, just sneakers, no laces, a torn plaid shirt much too big, pants that hung loose…his breath curled and met mine, grubby, his face and his questioning eyes shone too bright, all skin and bones he was, that shook and shivered in the cold as he asked…he was hungry, that I could see, but I had no quarter to spare or a dime…

‘No’, I said, “ I have not, ‘but I’ll be back in a mo and I’ll bring you something, then sit you down by the range to warm up and you can eat, a sandwich maybe and some cookies, a warm drink .’

He didn’t stop to hear me out, he was gone before I knew it, ran and disappeared behind a drift…’no time’, I heard him shout as I pushed my buggy to the store, Baby snugly tucked. ‘What’s your name?’ I called after him…but he had gone…my  calling after him hanging, frozen, in the still, chill air…

I pushed on then through the winter morning and thought what I could do, what could be done and where to start…

…and…

…I mentioned it to friends I knew who met up for coffee every Tuesday, to chat about the cold, the logs for their fires their husbands had cut in the wood lot in the fall, the stockings they’d hang by their beds, toys under the tree for their kids and surprises for all, new lights for the inside and out, the feasting they’d do and how big and how plump their turkeys would be…no, they had never noticed such a boy…

…and…

…something was said, it was news after all and news travelled fast on the island…

‘twas a funny thing I heard someone say, he’s brilliant at math every other day and always bad at English on those days…can’t make it out…and the clothes that he wore….no kid should be dressed like that in the cold…rags on the boy…

…sneakers, no socks…nice lad he was really,  if  only he’d wash…talk to his parents…green teeth as well…yes, someone must phone…no, someone should go and check it all out…over the causeway they live, by the back harbour somewhere…

…nice little house, was they said, could do with some paint and the rubbish all moved, all hidden by snow so you could only guess what it was, bits of bike sticking out and a fridge door gaping, boards hanging loose and the gaps stuffed with plastic, just needed a couple of nails, …but there was tinsel on the door the boy opened when they knocked…they looked down in surprise, wasn’t  the boy at his lessons in school?!

’Who is it’, a tired voice drawled from the murk of the parlour... ‘Teachers from school’, gasped the boy and he turned right around and ran back in and away up the stairs, stick legs in his Dad’s knickers, no slippers, bare chest, left the door gaping, and the people standing right where they ‘d knocked on the door…they were met by the stench of tobacco and booze…but, eyes smarting, they went on inside…

…alcos, the parents, was what they said, just lie about, they had two of those boys, identical twins, and only the one set of clothes on the one on his day at school…sent in on alternate days…so no one asked questions…

‘Kids had to be tough from the start’, said the mum and the dad…’life was rough!’

it wasn’t just a chilly day

it was cold

the kind of cold that froze your breath

and

gripped you by the ankles as you walked