Mum knew best
and
I knew that she knew.
Mum said that I was born at the wrong time and I believed what she said. I was born in the blinking of God's eye, that's what I thought. Born when he wasn't looking. And that is why I was a dreamer they all said. I didn't know yet what I wanted.I would grow up one day, they said...they also said I was a late developer and in the end it would all sort itself out, it would all be alright. Right now all was how it was meant to be and I believed that too because it was the only thing to do. I could have rebelled. I could have protested but I didn't know what against so it was best to shut up and wait...
I could be a doctor or I could be a singer, an artist maybe or a writer, a model like Twiggy perhaps...I was skinny enough...but Twiggy hasn't got the guts, not like me, go topless I mean...Twiggy doesn't have any at all and mine were small enough, a boyish figure Dad had said when I asked him how I looked. But really, they just right for toplessness I thought. The weather is too cold though and my room only has the heater for the pink. No heating on in our house except for when Dad fetched the paraffin from the garage down the road, so in the end it wasn't worth the hassle, even when no one could see. I did have to try though, make sure that Dad had gone up to bed and wasn't going to catch me in front of the mirror when I would step away from all that they said that was and all that they said that would be...
...now my friend Neith not only had the perfect job she was also prettier than Twiggy. Neith was so wise and so creative. I wonder if her Mum had taught her like my Mum did me or if she learnt it all at school...she learnt to weave a loom and as she wove she dreamed like me. I sat and dreamed, she dreamed and wove and she wove the world anew and all that she conceived in her pure heart she then brought into being. Neith was all things that were, all that would ever be and all that had ever been. And no one had ever laid open the garments by which she was concealed...except her breasts of course...topless...you see... as was right for the time and was the fashion...
...and the fruit she brought forth was the sun...
...and to honour her they lit a thousand lights that burned all night so she might see the thoughts that she was weaving. Neith wore a cobra crown and could shoot an arrow like the best of them. She was in charge of warriors when she wasn't weaving, helping them enter another world when their time had come. Neith outstretched her hands and guided all who wanted guiding and she wove them in her weaving, each a thread to be remembered always...Neith had the perfect job...
...and she picked the perfect colours for the loom that day, varied the threads so she might vary the texture of the cloth. Soft yellows and gentle purples like heather, she thought of the moors and of ice blue skies. Soft winter greens and golden bracken and a girl running, coat zipped and her hood pulled low, jeans torn at the knees and her scarf flying as she dodged tussocks and ice covered pools that snapped and splintered when she missed one. Snow on the wind, it would get cold. Her dog ran ahead, tail held high, showed her where a fox had run or perhaps a deer or a hare. She thought of the girl and her name would be Heather and soon she would have to grow up...a woman quite soon, leave her childhood behind, in safe keeping in her heart for the dreaming...
...and what about me?
...tired just now and cold and titties were freezing...best go to bed 'fore Dad shouted 'night' and pop his head in to check on me on his way to the lav...
...topless 's not right for us, Heather thought...not really, time is all wrong...Gran wears her corsets, Mum made her bras so her nipples would show...and mine weren't quite ready for a bra yet...
I could still be a doctor or an artist...I could be a dancer or I could direct a play...but I could be a weaver and make rugs in soft colours for floors and hangings for walls. I only had to wait until the time was right, just as Mum said...
and...
she always knew the best
and
I knew that she knew...
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